tonight i had to confess to my ballet teacher about my self harm. tonight i saw a boy, a man i didn’t want to see. tonight i saw someone who made my heart ache. tonight was so much. too much. not enough. (in a nutshell)
i also shared a cigarette with him,
it was so intimate, so close
our lips touched the same thing,
it was like the kiss i could not give him
after i hugged him
we inhaled the same smoke
and we would die together.
smoking a stranger’s cigarette..
it made me want to live.